Tag Archives: indecision

Danny Trejo Saved My Life

25 Apr

Danny Trejo saved my life. Not literally; though that would have been one to tell the grand kids. Seems that the pock-marked, big chinned Mexican of Grindhouse fame decided to pay my dreams a visit. Oh and he brought Walter White from Breaking Bad fame.


The “plot” to my dream was Oscar material. Truly. When this news breaks, I’ll have Tarantino himself Tweeting me for a meet to bag the rights. Anyway, the scene was a city; think the steeply stepped hills of San Francisco rolling down to the harbour shore. The moon is out, the stars are sparkling and the street lighting is bathing the streets in soft focus shadows.


As an aside, to those of you not familiar with Breaking Bad, it’s a US made TV drama starring in the lead role actor Bryan Cranston as Walter White. The plot goes something like this: Walter White is a high school chemistry teacher who gets diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He then gets into the crystal methanol cooking business in order to provide financial security for his family after he’s gone. Cue an unbridled descent into rage as we watch a mild-mannered family man turn into a cold-hearted career drug lord.


Enough background check it out.


So back to my dream plot, and we cut to Walt’s wife, hanging from the tram line via a gaffer tape noose. Seems an unknown terrorist group have kidnapped her, I assume to hold her to ransom. I never did get to know why, Danny wouldn’t spill the beans.

No time to waste! The rescue plan is a cunning mixture of precision strike in and out grab with some old school dare-devil cunning, on our bicycles.






Yes push bikes. You see dreams seem to have this habit; a special way to pluck from the subconscious your current obsessions and thoughts, worries and hopes, and play them across the zoetrope of the mind in dreams. Sometimes these are obvious walks into the dream theatre, the big budget 80’s blockbuster. You want a new car, so your dream is driving that car in an ideal location with the perfect weather. Other times, it’s just you, in a room with harsh lighting and a single table, two chairs and your having to justify your existence to the chilli pepper with the gavel.


The point is our subconscious mind knows better than the waking conscious how to ease the stress of those daily thoughts and wants that get stored into the fast repeat section of our brains for an endless loop; like a Ludovico. This is our Dreamtime.

My current waking obsession is a new push bike; ticket to some fun exercise and escape from the area and time to think. My current method isn’t the best as it’s usually when I’m on my motorbike, and sadly we have one to many 1984 style camera around waiting to slap my absent-minded ass with a speeding ticket. However at the present, the stress this wanting to purchase is putting on my subconscious is clearly a touch excessive.

“Why are you getting stressed?”


You may think that as I’m in a position to treat myself to a new bicycle would only be a cause for excitement and celebration.


But has anyone considered the countless time I’ll lose to indecision? Those conflicting opinions and reviews that we often turn to in order to help make a wise purchase and feel you got your moneys worth. I did mention I had an article to write on indecision, well here it is. It doesn’t help that I have an encyclopaedia of knowledge about the history of all cycling, and countless sites reviewing every possible configuration available, catering to each niche. And lets just ignore the countless shops available to tease. Alas I have access to the Internet. “Sorry to tell you this mind, but the brain just filled for divorce.” “Mental abuse was the cited reason your honour.”


And as all concepts of time ceases whilst my information hungry mind is engulfed in the electric fog, I’m beset with indecision. This can easily be applied to any current wants or obsessions and the result is the same. To my anxious prone mind and me, it would appear that ignorance is indeed bliss. The more knowledge we have armed out memory banks in our hungry brains with, the greater the likelihood we will face indecision. This comes about as we are faced with being conscious of all the merits and foibles of the intended purchase, yet had we ignored our self-abusing loud mouthed conscious minds, instead heeding the call of our snap-judgement primitive sub-conscious and simply gone “oh, so it comes in purple with a white trim? Great, I’ll take it” We would all but guarantee a calm and happy moment once we received it. That would be a bike in my case


Sadly a lifetime of study, information absorption; media bombardment and absence of bottomless wealth, have all precluded me from being able to tune into my primal mind when it comes to a new purchase or obsession. Especially on anything that costs more than chump change.


Think back; when you were a child you would have many wants. And if you wanted something you would ask mommy or daddy to buy it you, with or without a tantrum. And once said want was in your possession, bliss overload. Fast forward to now; you have a job, rent or mortgage, family or spouse, and countless other responsibilities. You want that new possession? Great, just go check the bank. Oh. So I’ve only got a few quid left, that’s ok I can stretch it. As you’re walking to the store till, or more likely in the modern age hovering the mouse cursor over the PayPal icon, and that’s when the cold sweats start.


That point, just as you’re about to be parted with your money and obtain the coveted fools gold, is when the subconscious, anxious voice comes to the fore and begins to chatter. “Do you really want this? Can you afford this? Will this really make you happy?” Indecisive thoughts take hold and before you know it you’ve backed away from the purchase and are left shivering like a caffeine fiend who’s been dried out for a week.


So what was once a happy moment of decisive action is now turned more often than not, into a cluster-fuck of conflicting mind drama. I’m not afraid to admit I’m suffering this very affliction. Right. This. Moment.


I’ll be writing more on the outcome of my bicycle purchase, and in particular any noteworthy adventures I have on the road to improved fitness. Hopefully, when the time comes to purchase, I’ll have gone for the purple with white trims one.